Early morning hunting trip

The humans have been looking a little worse for wear in recent weeks -- all sunken cheeks, sticky-outy ribs, knobbly knees galore -- and there has been a lot of complaining about being hungry all the time, the fridge being constantly empty and whatnot.

I think they’re just a little tired of their old cooking repertoire and fancy a little variety in their diet, so I thought I’d help out. After all, as much as I don’t like to share my wealth, they have been good to me, feeding me top-of-the-range catfood and even treating me to a weekly portion of fish.

So this morning, bright and early, I thought I’d go hunting. These are the fruits of my labour.


I left it on the rug, just in front of the box the humans often sit in front of, where I knew they would see it. And then I went out again. I am not one to bask in the glory of my selfless actions, you see.

When I returned, it was gone. Woman was the first to thank me for my brave and arduous deed and she praised my hunting skills. I like praise. Man soon followed suit and scratched me on the chin, but with the respect one owes to their provider.

I purred with pride and retired to their room for a well-deserved nap. These hunting trips really take it out of me...