Cat: A Blog of Disasters

Being the exploits and adventures of a cat about town

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Cat-flap conundrum

I moved into my current home about three years ago, and for the longest time I was all but banned from going outside. Well, that's not strictly true. The reality is that the people would have to open the door for me to go out and come back in. Finally, they got bored of that -- though let me tell you, I got bored a lot sooner -- and they decided to put in a cat-flap.

When I say "put in a cat-flap", I really mean "have a cat-flap put in" because they are both so useless at DIY that I can only imagine what sort of disaster they would make of it.

I got very excited when I heard Man on the phone calling glaziers to get quotes for the job. And when I finally heard him book one in, I almost leapt for joy. (Of course, had I actually leapt for joy, I would have made sure they weren't around to see it. I'm not a circus monkey, for Christ's sake. Or worse, a dog.)

The glazier man came and he removed the bottom panel from the gorgeous uPVC back door. He then took the panel and the cat-flap with him to his van, which was parked outside, and this is where he did the cutting and fitted the unit. All very exciting. Then he brought it back in and commenced to replace the panel. Only to realize that the panel was not square and he had put the cat-flap in the wrong place. See the photograph below.

How can people be so dumb?! If we cats had opposable thumbs, idiots like that guy would be out of work.

backdoor-catflap

10 Comments:

At 4:51 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

this house has a door in it bcos tha last guys hadda dog but u has 2 wear a collar with a battery 2 open it so nobody say tha raccoons can get in but not even ina door its ina wall how bloody stupid is that? those other peoples were rite stupid

 
At 2:33 PM, Anonymous nik said...

Cat, do you have to JUMP through the flap
or do you stand on a brick? My door is very low because the dogs they put it in for are small. I just step through it. That collar thing the d34d puppy talked about sounds okay, too. One night when we were asleep and the dogs were outside, I heard a terrible commotion from my people. The 2 dogs had come inside and 1 of their very BIG friends had come in, too! My people yelled at him and he ran back out! It was very exciting! But you know what?
I don't remember seeing that other dog after that. I wonder what happened to him?
(as told to Nik by the cat "Bob")

 
At 4:00 PM, Anonymous cat said...

DP: They put the dog-flap in the wall?! Crazy. Those collars with batteries and magnets and the like don't work for me because I don't wear a collar. I did once, and I looked very dashing - like a feline James Bond - but then it nearly killed me. That's a whole other story...

Nik (and Bob): No, the glazier realized the error of his ways (he was smart like that) and brought a replacement panel with flap already fitted the following day. He changed them over and I was free at last. But you don't want dogs coming into your house. That's very bad.

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger Spangly Princess said...

clearly human ineptitude knows no bounds. cats have a lot to put up with.

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger Tanya said...

Perhaps the flap is fitted for an acrobatic cat?

 
At 2:18 AM, Anonymous Sully McBullers said...

That door is too high for the likes of me, and the size looks too small. If I were to come visit you, the height of the door would cause me to over exert myself (while I tried jumping repeatedly towards it). And I would most likely get stuck in it due to my large, cat flab induced body. Yeah, and collars suck big time. Mine tried putting a leather studded one on me once. I just pretended I was dead for two hours until they felt sorry for me and took it off. Losers.

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Cat said...

Spangly: Tell me about it...

Tanya: The thing is, though, it opens sideways, too, because of course it should be rotated counterclockwise by 90 degrees. People, huh?! Useless.

Sully: We'll have to get together and talk collars. Sounds like our people are equally dumb.

 
At 6:37 PM, Anonymous Sully McBullers said...

So, Cat! Care to elaborate on this bird story?

 
At 10:47 PM, Blogger d34dpuppy said...

i wear a shock collar so i dun pee on tha floor

 
At 10:27 AM, Anonymous cat said...

Sully: I will as soon as I can get some computer time...

DP: That sounds terrible!

 

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