It’s all fun and games, innit?

I've really been a bit slack about writing on my blog lately. It's just been so damn hot. When it gets like this, what I tend to do is pop into the shed belonging to the old lady a couple of doors away. It's pretty cool in there because it's all dark and shaded. And once in a while there's the added bonus of a big ol' spider or similar tasty bug for me to chow down on. Yep, life is sweet, if a little warm.

Well... I say life is sweet, but just when things are looking at their sweetest, suddenly I smell something rotten in the state of Denmark, as that old Shakespeare bloke would have. Something rotten in the state of Denmark? More like something rotten in the shape of the three black bananas sitting in the people's fruit bowl. Sheesh! Some of us have sensitive nostrils, y'know, not like you sensory-deprived humans.

And not only that... The little kid next door has been climbing the fence and getting into my garden. My garden! He even walked up to the back door of my house and put his hand through my cat-flap. My cat-flap! I tell you all this for nothing: he's lucky I was nowhere near at the time. I've managed to avoid what the people call a nail-trimming for quite a few weeks now, and I'm carrying a couple of pawfuls of scimitars around with me. I'd have taken that mofo's arm off as quick as look at it.

And another thing... Said kid has got himself a couple of cats living with him. New ones. New ones that think it's okay to come and do their toilet business in my garden. My gard... Oops, I'm repeating myself, aren't I? They were using the gravel that the people put down (detailed here) as a litter tray. Dirty bastards.

And just when you were beginning to think I must be the least fortunate cat in the whole world, there's something else. The people have friends visiting this week. Two more people. I don't like people. Did I mention that before? Have I not made this clear enough to the people who live with me? Obviously I'm going to need to stress my position a bit more forcefully. I will, dear reader, keep you informed...